Since getting married and such is quite a big milestone in life, I thought if might be of some value to chronicle in some way how I felt/feel about it. Thus, here I am at 8am on Saturday morning, chronicling...
I grew up in a tough environment. I would not describe my childhood years as normal, happy, well-adjusted. I had my little brother and any happy times I had as a kid involved him. Otherwise, it was not a good time. I spent my younger adult years sort of wandering. I had good relationships and bad ones. At some points, I just wasn't ready for the good relationships to become marriage and the bad ones just made me want to give up entirely. Before I met Brian, I was ready to just give up and accept my life as the crazy cat lady. I was wondering if life would ever just ease up and if the bullshit quota would ever be met. It was a joke i had. I had convinced myself that everyone's life had a bullshit quote: the amount of bullshit that we each had to put up with before we could just have a regular normal life. I was wondering if i just had a particularly high quota to meet. I mean, even by 32 years old, I'd had a long life. Growing up with my mom, my father's death, the fire, taking care of Aunt Laura and her death...that's a lot to pack into the first third of one's life. So, I wasn't feeling sorry for myself, but I was wondering if this was how it would always be or if maybe there would be a break thrown in at some point. And that's when I met Brian. Funny how that works.
I woke up this morning and I looked around me. There's the dog, passed out on the floor in that way that only dogs can sleep. Like she just spent a hard night out running the streets and she's exhausted so every part of her body looks flopped on the ground, passed out. One cat is nestled down at the bottom of the bed, one is dangling over the edge of the sugar glider's cage and playing, one is curled up on the dresser, and the fourth is lying on Brian's chest and staring at him. Brian is asleep on his back but, thankfully, his mouth is closed so he's not snoring and he looks so young. When he sleeps, his whole face relaxes and he's like 25.
I woke up and i surveyed this scene around me and I thought "This is my life. My happy, normal, well-adjusted life." I thought about the wedding and Brian's family and how a few months ago my brother had asked me why I wanted to marry Brian. He was trying to elicit some sort of emotion out of me, which is not really how I roll. I think I said something like "mumble, mumble, because I love him or whatever, shut up, don't be cheesey." No one can accuse me of being adept at expressing my emotions.
Brian is an amazing person. I know this not just because I think so but because of the way the people around him think so, as well. He has this huge extended family. There are 3 sisters, 1 brother, two sets of parents, 6 neices and nephews, 6 grandneices and nephews, and uncles and aunts. Except for his mother, father, and half-brother, non of these people are actually blood related to him, but there are all LOVE related to him. It's amazing, really, because put all these people in a room together and I think the single thing they could all 100% agree on is that they love and respect and like Brian. Plus, he has like a million friends. My own brother loved him from like the second they met. That's just the kind of guy Brian is. He requires a lot of attention, can never find anything (seriously, what's up with that), and gets cranky if not fed and watered frequently, but he's the kind of person that everyone loves. He's smart and responsible and funny and dependable and energetic and a bit ADD. He's never cruel or hurtful and he almost always does what he says. He calls to say he'll be late, he's open about every aspect of his life, he's never sketchy or secretive. He's the kind of person you just trust immediately without question because minutes after meeting him you can tell he has this grounded morality that doesn't allow him to be dishonest. Obviously, he's not perfect, but his flaws are things like, he's a bit sloppy and sometimes he gets pouty. These are not tragic flaws and his good qualities far outweigh any flaws he has.
Beyond just Brian, though, there is his family and friends. These are amazing people. They love him and respect him and they support him in the things he wants to do in life. And all of these people have made me feel like part of all that.
So, the wedding...This is where it was reinforced in my head that not only was I marrying the right person, but I was marrying into a great and wonderful family. Brian's family (which to me includes Vince and Kristina) like banded together as this cohesive unit to help pull the whole thing together. Not to take anything away from my brother, his girlfriend, my best friend and her boyfriend because they all came together as part of this giant gang to help bring it all together. It was just amazing to see all these people working to help make our wedding (the whole weekend, really) awesome.
This is how amazing everyone is:
1. Friday, his entire family cam over for the rehearsal dinner. They helped with food, and clean-up and last minute wedding stuff. And when i slam dunked his sister's birthday cake onto the floor (in a most embarrassing display of non-balance ever), she was 100% gracious and everyone laughed and we cleaned it up and the kids ate floor cake.
2. When we needed people to help us set up on Saturday morning, this massive gang of people came over to the Speak Easy at like 8am and just got it done! His dads, his sister, his brother-in-laws, his best friends, their wives, my best friend and her boyfriend, the kids, my brother and his girlfriend, it was amazing, and they all did an amazing job. My favorite picture from that:
3. Brian's sister, Teri, and his niece, Andrea, putting together the greatest flash mob ever to dance at the wedding. OMG. It's the only moment of the entire wedding that I felt regret over not having a videographer. The entire Fergie clan, Teri, JR, Brian's minions, Karen's minions all dancing to Gangnam Style. It was truely amazing and probably my favorite part of the whole night.
4. While Kristy and I were getting ready, her boyfriend helped iron all the minions dress shirts. He just came by to drop something off and we roped him in but without his help, it would not have gotten done. And it may seem like a small thing, but it wasn't because those shirts were in a tragic state.
5. Kristy and Eric and Noah and Adam coming by Sunday morning and helping me and the little minions get the Speak Easy back to normal and cleaning. Brian had to take Gavin to soccer and I could not have done it without them.
6. Just everyone having a good time and dancing and laughing and taking mustache (I provided each guest with a fake mustache) photos in the photobooth.
Overall, it was just a great weekend and a great reminder of the fact that I'm lucky. I sometimes don't really know or understand how I got here to this place of happy normalcy, but I know that I'm lucky.
Jenn daSilva Rowe Warhammer
I'm not sure who the 90% are that like Goodfella's are, but I'll assume a couple of things that may be affecting the rating. 1. They are liking the one in NY, not the one in Fishers, Indiana. 2. People in Indiana have no clue. 3. People are mostly having the pizza and maybe the pizza doesn't suck as much as all the other food.