Dear American Idol...

Dear American Idol,

This season stinks.  I'm not sure what made you think that Idol could carry on without Simon Cowell, but I'm pretty sure he's laughing his ass off somewhere.  Randy is a nice guy and all but he's no Simon.  Having him sit in that chair is almost offensive.  I'll give him credit for the fact that he's a little more brutal this year, but it's the equivalent of saying that a fluffy baby bunny is feeling naughty.  Steven Tyler is doing a great Paula Abdul drag queen impression, but I only notice when I can get past the horrific outfits and understand his slurred speech.  True, years of watching the train wreck we all love, Paula, slur her way into our hearts prepared us to speak Tyler's language, but it's just not the same.  I used to love Steven Tyler and now he sort of just reminds me of a washed up singer, trying to attract a new generation of fans.  Sort of like watching David Hasselhoff on America's Got Talent.  Speaking of washed up has been singers, why the eff did you have to bring Jennifer Lopez onto the show?  Seriously, J Lo? Besides the fact that her wild mane of hair is overwhelming to look at and she seems to share the same wardrobe with Steven, she's just friggin' annoying.  God forbid Randy have an opinion that differs from hers.  I thought she would scratch his eyeballs out the other night.  And not in the cute "Paula/Simon love/hate bickering" way, but more in an "I'm Jenny from the ghetto block and I'll smack your ass back to Journey and the year 1985 if you don't start agreeing with my every thought cause i'm scary and my hair will block you from the camera" kind of way.  It's awful.  All the while, poor Ryan has got to be crying himself to sleep each night to get through this season.  Without Simon, it's like Ernie with no Burt, a Leprechaun with no Rainbow, Dorothy with no Toto...I think you get the point.  It's depressing.

And then there's the contestants...

THIS IS ALLYOU COULD FIND????  Seriously? Were your judges all having a continuous moment of insanity during the entire audition process?  Is it possible that the process is flawed?  Is it possible that they are all tone deaf?  Why did you change up the entire format of how things work after Hollywood week?  Fine. I don't get to choose from 36 trainwrecks for 10 weeks before getting to the top 12.  Whatevs.  But it's like every single person you found had never watched the show before.  It's like every single one of Simon's nightmares, one after another.  Boring, old-fashioned, karaoke, redundant, trying to sing songs that are WAY too big (i.e. Mariah, Whitney, Christina, Micheal, etc.  The untouchables), pitchy, unoriginal, spastic, screechy, the list goes on and on.  I've never fast forwarded through so much singing.  Even the good singers have been picking such boring songs, i can't take it.  If I have to hear another ballad, I'm going to vomit.  I can't even pick a winner because i sort of hate them all.  When my favorite guy is a friggin COUNTRY SINGER, all hope is lost.  I hate country music.  It all sounds the same to me.  And yet, the only one that hasn't made me want to destroy my eardrums is that country singer kid.  But yet, i still care so little this season that I haven't bothered to learn his name.  Last year, I knew Lee's name.  The year before I knew Adam's name after the first week i saw him sing.  The year before that David Cook had me at Hello.  This year, I couldn't name one contestant or tell you what they have sang.  I just know them as the Country Singer Kid, the Country Singer Girl, the Red Headed dude (who tried to be interesting but sort of freaks me out), the Blinky Rocker, the Twitchy Rod Stewart/Bradley Cooper Baby, the Annoying MySpace Chick, the 15-Year Old, Alicia Keys Light, the Pretty Girl with the Annoying North Jersey Accent, The Blond with the Tight Pants/Skirts, Jersey Shore Dude, the Gay Dude.  My guess is that this week will be the end for the Blond with the Tight Pants or Alicia Keys Light.  Whatevs, they both suck.  Your show is terrible.  And when are you going to bring in better role models or whatever you call them?  The music producers are getting boring and they are not helping these people at all. Have you run out of people who are willing to deal in mediocrity?  I wouldn't be at all surprised...

American Idol, I think it's almost time for us to end our relationship.  We've both changed over the years and I think we just want different things.  You want to suck the soul out of people and I want to hear good singers.  I guess that's just the way it is.  So, only because I have trouble letting go, I may stick around for the abuse until the end of this season.  But if things don't improve, I'm sorry, but it will be over between us.  This is not an ultimatum, it's just a fact.  I can only take so much before I can't take anymore.

Thanks for the memories (good and bad),

Jenn

The Flight of the Bumble Bee

I want to be a bumble bee...

I’m reading a triathlon training book right now.  The author talks about the bumble bee and how NASA scientists have concluded, after much study, that science shows that bumble bees can’t fly.  Their wings cannot support their furry round bodies.  Yet, the memo never made it to the bumble bee because they continue to fly around, pollinating their little furry butts off.  The point of the bumble bee story is to show how believing that you can do something is more important than what people say you cannot do.  Or something like that, I guess, since the NASA folks couldn’t actually say to the bumble bees of the world “Um, you defy physics and are therefore an impossibility. Please stop flying now.” And it’s not like they did say that and then the bumble bees ignored the naysayers and proved them wrong with their perseverance and determination and sheer will.  But I think the point is that the bumble bees believe they can fly, so they just do.  Although, how much do bumble bees really sit around thinking about and believing in themselves? I imagine not that much.  But I digress…

I do want to be like the bumble bee, though, and just do things without thinking about how hard or impossible they might be.  It’s a tough thing to do.  There are so many things that I would like to do but they all feel so out of my reach. 

When I was young, I didn’t imagine myself sitting in a cubicle, surrounded by oatmeal colored walls.  I didn’t imagine that I would read Dilbert cartoons and think “Holy Crud, that is SO true.” Yet, here I am.  I work in a cubicle, I spin my wheels, I explain the same thing over and over.  I’m bored all the time.  And always, I am a round peg trying to shove myself through a square hole.  When I was young, I didn’t not imagine myself sitting in a cubicle, but I guess I didn’t really imagine myself doing anything because I didn’t think I would make it to adulthood.  When I made it to adulthood, I was so relieved to be away from home, I spent my time just getting by.  I found something that I didn’t suck at (computers) and I sort of wandered down a path.  It didn’t occur to me that the path would lead to anywhere specific and that’s where I would have to stay.  And always, I want to change my path, but I don’t know how to or where to start.  Mostly, because I don’t know what other path I might like to try.  How many paths do I get in life?

 I’m in my early (almost mid) 30s now and I’m finally starting to really consider my future.  I feel like I’ve finally made it past levels two and three on that stupid Hierarchy of Needs Pyramid that has so been the bane of my existence thus far.  I suppose I will be around for a while, so I really should decide what it is that is important to me and what it is I want to spend my time focusing on.  I feel like so much of my time is wasted.  I suppose we can’t all have terribly important lives that are filled with great meaning.  I think I can be ok with the fact that I will not make some great impact on the world.  But I would like to have some impact on my own world and feel like I am accomplishing something that I don’t hate.  I have to decide on some goals and focus on developing a plan to accomplish those goals and then really make an effort to execute those plans towards success.  Except, I have no idea what sort of goals I want to accomplish that are more fulfilling than the goal to watch all three High School Musicals this weekend (which I’ve totally accomplished, btw).  So, how do I get focused?  What am I good at?  I don’t know.  I’m good at watching TV and knowing every movie and actor and actress.  But that’s not really a skill.   
I’ve made some big lifestyle changes in the past year or so.  I quit smoking for real. I haven’t smoked in over a year.  I never thought I would be able to do that.  I guess I had a bumble bee moment.  I started running and exercising.  I can run a couple miles in a row now, so I guess that’s a new accomplishment.   I have come to realize, though, that I need a real goal when it comes to exercise.  A focus.  Just doing it for the sake of doing it doesn’t really drive me.  I need a prize or accomplishment to work towards.  I have the mini in May to work towards but I’m starting to feel like I need to really start to be more focused towards it or I won’t take it seriously.  I want to try triathlon.  I have to keep telling myself that just because I can’t swim or bike, that I shouldn’t get discouraged.  I can learn.  Can I?  I hope so.

So, I’m trying to identify some goals.  What’s my ultimate goal? Is it Iron Man?  I suppose if I could do that I would feel like I could pretty much do anything.  My problem is that I don’t like doing things that I’m not good at doing.  Like, um, running, biking, swimming.  I know I’ll never be like a Lance or Tiger.  But maybe I could be a David Wells?  He was like a normal dude who occasionally did extraordinary things.  I think I’d like to be that one day.  A girl who spent 17 years smoking and just sitting around, then decided one day to get off her arse and be an athlete.  That sounds like a good story one day.

Do I start a training blog?  Will that help me be accountable for my training?  Who would read it? Does it matter if it gets read?  Maybe.  I feel like I can’t do something if it’s just for myself.  I’m not that motivated as a person. But if I blogged about it, I would feel like there were people watching and waiting to see what happens.  Really?  Who’s watching me or waiting for me?  That sounds a bit egotistical.  Apparently, I have a huge ego.  Who knew?


Right now, I haven’t worked out a training plan just yet.  I try to work out with weights and running and swimming like 8-10 times a week.  We just got a trainer to kick our butts once a week.  We start riding soon, too.  I’ll have a plan put together sometime this week, I guess. For now, I suppose triathlon is my short term goal.  And not loosing all my money in the stock market.  But that’s a whole different animal.

I guess we’ll see how it goes. 

Today, I am a bumble bee.

Jenn - What are you going to be?