I hear there was some sort of big wedding in Europe....

Quote of the Day: "This project is so important, we can't let things that are more important interfere with it." - Real Life Dilbert Quotes

Don't forget: Since I have to live vicariously through the adventures of others, I will be making a donation towards a project that interests me (for more information visit: Pacific Crest Trail Field Guide Project) as well as following the adventure via the blog Justin and Li An's Blog: Story the Walk.  They need to raise enough money by May 12th.  I don't usually ask for donations for things via my blog (except donations of love), but I think that this is a pretty cool idea and I would like to see it come to life.  So, take a moment and just go check it out.  I'll owe you one!  Oh, and with my birthday right around the corner, if you were thinking "hmmm...what should I get Jenn for her birthday? She's so awesome!", donating to that book is the perfect gift!! :) 

 
Grassbeard...

This is what Grassbeard looks like.

He sort of needs a haircut.  I don't want him to droop over when he gets to tall. I'm not really sure where he came from. He just appeared one day in Treebeard's pot.

American Idol...

No big surprises.  Just Casey getting kicked off then running around all wierd and kissing everyone he could get his hands on in the audience.  Then, at the end of his song, he stared at Haley and all creepy like sang "you're mine" which was part of the song but also seemed to be a statement. She looked a little uncomfortable about the whole thing.  I don't like discomfort.  Steven Tyler looked like he stole his outfit from a 1970's lounge singer, as well as looking incredibly bored.  hahahahahahahahaha...

So, I keep hearing all this talk about a wedding...

So, I guess there was some big royal wedding today.  Only it was in England, so it was really in the middle of the night.  The middle of the night US time, not England time.  That would be weird if they had the wedding in the middle of the night England time.  Unless the people getting married were like really heinous, then it would make sense to have a wedding under the cover of dark dark night.  Prince William isn't that great looking, but that Kate chick is sort of good looking so she must have insisted on a daytime wedding.  I guess if you get to marry a prince (of what, I'm not sure. Cause now he's also a duke.  it's all very confusing.  I can never keep track of this stuff in the fantasy books I read, either.  If you care, here's a link to all this: Crazy England Royal Family Stuff), you aren't too picky about how good looking he is.  According to legend, they met at college and dated for a while. Then they broke up for a few months and I guess Kate was all "Um, I'm pretty sure I have to rethink my standards cause I'm not doing better then the 2nd in line to the throne of England.".  So, they got back together and now they are married.  From what I can tell, she was like a commoner before the wedding, so I guess the royals are allowed to go slumming now and not just marry their cousins. No one has any respect for tradition anymore.

So, everyone is on about the Queen's dress.  She's like 150 years old, so I'm not quite sure what folks where expecting.  It seemed very spring-like and old person styled.  Exactly as I would expect.  I was not a fan of the wedding dress, but I also don't like lace, so I might be biased.  I did really like the dress her sister was wearing as Maid of Honor.  It was pretty awesome.  And I don't think anyone looks good in that Prince outfit they have to wear.

Anyway, I'm already bored with the whole Royal Wedding thing.  There has got to be something more interesting going on in the world....so I just Googled "something more interesting going on in the world" and it would seem that there is, in fact, NOTHING more interesting going on in the world.  Google would know if there was and there isn't.  So, carry on, obsessed royal wedding folks.  You aren't missing a thing about anything else.

Poison Ivy Update...

As I'm sure you are all at the edge of your seats, wondering (possibly out loud to yourselves) "what is going on with Jenn's poison ivy?".  Well, I'm here to report that it has moved on to a sort of uncomfortable crusty, dry yet blistery, rash.  Which I think is considered to be a sort of "on it's way to healing" status.  I have more yard work to do this weekend, only now I'm armed with the knowledge:

1. I know what poison ivy looks like in all it's 70 forms and disguises. That include the rare, yet always funny Poison Ivy Wearing Glasses with a Fake Nose and Mustache variety.

Poison Ivyious Discuiseous   

2. I will be wearing a hazmat suit during all gardening.

Um, that's all the knowledge I really have.  I'm not so knowledgable, I guess...

May...

Well, May is almost upon me.  It's my lease favorite month.  I'm sure I've gone over it before: My birthday, mother's day, anniversary of dad's death, mom's birthday...it's just a very emotionally arduous month.  Oh, and i have a 20k race that i'm pathetically not ready for.  But alas, it is what it is. I am going to try to kick it off in a fun way but taking a picture every day.  I've seen a few folks doing that and I think you are supposed to start at the new year, but I'm going to to start on Monday, my 34th birthday.  Good God!  34.  I was 27 when I started this thing.  I guess 7 years is not that long except my 7 year relationship with Xanga is the longest one of my life practically. Crazy!  So, a picture a day. Starting Monday. 

Jenn - Everything you see in this blog is a fact....or is it???

Scratch it till it bleeds is my new motto...

Quote of the Day: "How long is this Beta guy going to keep testing our stuff?" - Real Life Dilbert Quotes

Don't forget: Since I have to live vicariously through the adventures of others, I will be making a donation towards this (for more information visit: Pacific Crest Trail Field Guide Project) as well as following the adventure via the blog Justin and Li An's Blog: Story the Walk.  They need to raise enough money by May 12th.  I don't usually ask for donations for things via my blog (except donations of love), but I think that this is a pretty cool idea and I would like to see it come to life.  So, take a moment and just go check it out.  I'll owe you one!

Let's talk Idol...

Hmmmm...where to begin?  Last night's episode was such a mish mash, I'm not sure where to start. There was Randy dressed like a student at Hogwarts, Jennifer Lopez not wearing any pants, Stephen Tyler having an actual moment of lucidity, and duets. I suppose starting from the beginning would be the simplest way, so here I go.
Carole King night begins with, SURPRISE, the same friggin mentor we've seen every other week.  WTF.  How much did you sell your soul for, American Idol?  Just curious.  Only this week, they did another "pretend" mentor by bringing in Babyface.  Oddly enough, I recognized him on sight.  I'm wondering how many other people did.  In my house 4 out of 5 people did NOT know who he was, even after they described who he was.  Apparently, American Idol is all about resurrecting the dead.  (NOTE: Upon looking up Babyface in Wikipedia, it would seem that there is a stretch of highway in Indianapolis that has been named after him.  Interesting...)  Anyway, the best part about Babyface was the bored look he had on his not-so-baby-53-year-old-face.  I shared that look.
Moving right along, we start with Jacob. Yawn.  And then there was some more yawning.  I guess he sings alright if you are into that genre of singing, the genre being BORING.  I keep trying to imagine him on the radio and then I imagine myself changing the station tout suite.  Then there was some horrible cameo by the always angry looking Miley Cyrus.  And that Country Girl singing the theme song from Gilmore Girls (LOVED THAT SHOW). Then, I think the next thing was Ryan making the waggly eyebrows and looking sort of frog-like while insinuating that there is some sort of horrific romance going on between Casey (kids call him Evil Jesus) and Haley.  Let's focus on that for a moment.  I'm thinking that Haley secreting has some major personality issues or Casey is like some sort of sex ninja because on what planet other than scripted tv would those two end up together?  There was a mildly amusing, yet uncomfortable interview and then the two of them singing a duet.  Haley crushes Evil Jesus when it comes to singing, and the parts where they sang together sounded like ass. This moves us right along to, crap, I forget the order they sang.  All I remember is that Scotty didn't suck, James actually sounded really good and reminded me of David Cook's performances where he just sounded awesome and didn't try so hard to be a rockstar, Scotty and the Country Chick sang their duet together and per usual sounded great together.  Ryan tried to make us think there was something going on there but Scotty looked sort of disgusted by the whole idea.  Casey was just sort of meh and I'm sort of over him.  Haley is better each week.  She has to be since she always picks the dumbest songs.  Or maybe like Steven Tyler, I was distracted by her legs.  He said he heard God in her voice, but i'm thinking it wasn't her voice he was thinking about.  He's like the aweseomest dirty old man in America. Then, in the biggest surprise of the night, James and Jacob sung REALLY well together and we were all almost treated to a nationally televised Jennifer Lopez crotch shot.  The episode was altogether sort of whatever and I was actually disappointed that no one chose to sing the Locomotion.
I will say that I think this is the most evenly matched group that I've ever seen on the show.  Last year it was so obvious that Crystal and Lee were the interesting ones and everyone else was there to sing ok every so often and lose.  The year before it was so obvious that Adam Lambert was the most interesting human being on earth and that Kris was going to win because teenage girls are who vote. The year before that David and David where obvious from the beginning.  This year, no one really stands out. I feel like whoever is the worst each week is the one that's going to get booted.  There are no obvious winners in this group.  It's a race for mediocrity.
There was a commercial for X Factor and I got one glorious moment with Simon.  I treasured that moment.  


In other news...

My poison ivy still itches.  And the smell of calamine is not my favorite.  Oh, and I've totally sold out to Amazon - FYI.


Jenn - The sun came out for like 30 seconds today!!!

The one where the poison ivy tries to defeat me...

Quote of the Day: "What I need is a list of specific unknown problems we will encounter." - Real Life Dilbert Quotes

Don't forget: Since I have to live vicariously through the adventures of others, I will be making a donation towards this (for more information visit: Pacific Crest Trail Field Guide Project) as well as following the adventure via the blog Justin and Li An's Blog: Story the Walk.  They need to raise enough money by May 12th.  I don't usually ask for donations for things via my blog (except donations of love), but I think that this is a pretty cool idea and I would like to see it come to life.  So, take a moment and just go check it out.  I'll owe you one!

Treebeard keeps on growing...

So, a bunch of months ago, I threw an avocado pit into a pot of dirt and Treebeard was born.  I will never be able to plant him outside because the weather in Indiana is not ideal for such a tree, but he's doing rather well in my master bathroom.  I have to keep him in there since it's the only place safe from the evil kittens of mass destruction.  Treebeard is not quite ready to deal with them.  Here is a picture:

Treebeard, about 6 months old

He's got a few new leaves and a couple have fallen off.  I can't figure out how to get him to grow branches but he might still be too young for that.  He's got a friend growing in his pot with him, Grassbeard.  You can't see him in this picture.  As you may have guessed, Grassbeard is a blade of grass.

Poison Ivy is a serious B-I-T-C-H....

Apparently, I have decided that the misery of my cubicle is not enough for me, nor is the endless rain that seems to be falling upon Indianapolis.  At some point during my gardening the past two weekends, I decided to roll around in some poison ivy just to see how tough I really am.  Or what really happened is that I'm a total dumbass that didn't know that poison ivy looks totally different in the spring then it does in the summer months, so I just ran around all willy nilly pulling it out of the yard.  Such a horrible misstep results in this:

Right Arm (after a week of healing)

Left Arm

I'm sure it could be much worse.  My entire face could be swelled up or some other horror.  But this is my horror, so I think I'll be just as dramatic as I want about it.  IT ITCHES SO BAD!!!  I'm currently sitting at my desk with lotion on the poison ivy and my arms bandaged like a burn victim so that I can't scratch it.  I woke up last night cause i was scratching it in my sleep. Not my favorite way to wake up, I have to say.

American Idol...

It's Wednesday, which means that I will force myself to watch yet another mediocre episode of Idol.  It's Carol King week.  I don't even know who that is.  So I Google it and it's some old chick.  One of the first things I saw was "associated with James Taylor".  Not to offend all the James Taylor and Adult Contemporary fans but, oh goodie, another week of BORING.  Seriously, is Idol just running out of ideas??  The only song on the list of songs I could find that may not suck is Locomotion. As in, everybody's doing a brand new dance now.  I'm trying to picture Blinky Guy (James, yes, I learned his name) jumping around and setting things on fire to that song.  I'm not really seeing it.  I should just start writing my scathing review of the entire thing right now.  Blah blah, boring, blah blah, Jennifer Lopez's wild mane, blah blah, Steven Tyler saying inappropriate yet hilarious things, blah blah, I hate this show.  Maybe I'll be wrong.  Maybe they will totally rock out these songs and tomorrow I'll be forced to issue a public apology to Idol for ripping into it today.  I guess we shall see.

Any Ideas....

I'm currently taking suggestions for new careers.  All I've come up with are Live a Life of Leisure (which i can't afford), Supermodel (which I'm too old for), and Superhero (though I doubt Super Sarcasm and Super Obsessive Compulsiveness really count as Super Powers).

Happy Moment of the Day:  Getting the last bag of Cheetos from the vending machine.  Especially because the item behind that last bag was stupid Sun Chips.  Bleh.

Jenn - Just because I like to arrange my M&Ms by color, then eat one color at a time until I have an equal amount of each color, then eat one at a time from each color til I'm done, doesn't make me crazy!!!

Something Awesome....

Quote of the Day: "As of tomorrow, employees will only be able to access the building using individual security cards. Pictures will be taken next Wednesday, and employees will receive their cards in two weeks." - Real Life Dilbert Quotes 

This is something worthwhile...

As some of you may or may not know, i have recently developed an obsession with the outdoors.  I've always enjoyed hiking, and in the last couple of years have started taking trips to national parks to hike those trails.  I've also recently decided to hike all of Indiana while I'm here.  Nature is friend that I'm trying to get to know a bit better (even if I will NEVER see a freaking bear).  My brother has this friend, Justin, he's known since high school who is such an inspiration.  Justin is trying to raise money to fund the writing of a field guide that documents the Pacific Crest Trail.  I think that's friggin' awesome. 

Since I have to live vicariously through the adventures of others, I will be making a donation towards this (for more information visit: Pacific Crest Trail Field Guide Project) as well as following the adventure via the blog Justin and Li An's Blog: Story the Walk.  They need to raise enough money by May 12th.  I don't usually ask for donations for things via my blog (except donations of love), but I think that this is a pretty cool idea and I would like to see it come to life.  So, take a moment and just go check it out.  I'll owe you one!

Jenn - DO IT!!!!

The pitter patter of little feet...in the middle of the night...

Quote of the Day: "Doing it right is no excuse for not meeting the schedule." - Real Life Dilbert Quotes

The Joys of Children...

So, as you may or may not know, Boyfriend has 3 minions (children).  They are all boys and they are M (Age 10), E (Age almost 12), and G (Age 14).  We have them every thursday and every other weekend, plus on various alternating holidays and such.  In the year or so that I've know them, I have learned so much.  I have learned:

1. They will always find something to bang on or bang with and the louder the banging noise they can make, the happier it makes them.  I would learn how to levitate them in the air but I'm sure it would be a wasted effort because they would just bang on themselves.

2. The only time a child will start vomiting is in the middle of the night.  And they will NEVER make it to the bathroom the first (and most vomit producing) time.  They will manage to get out of bed, come downstairs, wake us up, tell us they are sick, cry a little, wait until someone gets out of bed, walk over to lay on the couch, and then just as the adult is walking over the fridge to get something to help settle the stomach, the child will jump up and make it to just outside the bathroom door before projectile vomiting all over the place.  And the hall bathroom is right outside the master bedroom, so the adult that didn't get out of bed will be trapped in the bedroom until either Moses arrives to do some parting of the Vomit Sea or the other adult has time to clean up.
 
3. Someone is always bored.  No matter what activity is going on, there will always be someone who says they are bored.  It could be the most exciting thing that anyone in the history of man could ever imagine doing and someone will still manage to be bored. 

4. 100% of the time kids will automatically, without a moment's hesitation, say NO to anything suggested to them and say they hate it, even if they have never experienced it before.  100% of the time that I say they will like something, I have to listen to them whine about it, force them to do it (or watch it in case of movies or tv), and they end up loving it. 


5. Three kids means that 90% of the time, two kids will end up liking doing or eating whatever is suggested and one will hate it.  90% of the times that one kids hates it, it's only because they other two like it.


6. Just when I am about to lock myself in the closet because they are driving me crazy, they do something funny or cute.

I made up a whining song this weekend.  And I sang it at whoever was whining at any given moment (including Boyfriend).  Right, I'm 10.  I have to do something to counteract the whine terrorists.  The song is sung to the spider man theme:

Whineypants, Whineypants,
I see you have on your whineypants.
Do they fit or are they tight?
Doesn't matter cause it isn't right,
To be a whineypaaaaaaannntttssss,
You're being a whineypants.

I find that making up taunting songs to sing at the children relieves some of the stress. :)

Jenn - Don't get me wrong...I really do love the minions!

I should really try to post more often...I could go senile any day now...

Quote of the Day:

"Asok, I need you to create a Powerpoint presentation that will save our department from being eliminated. You must quantify the unquantifiable and that can only done by a process that I call lying."  - Pointy Haired Boss
"Lying is a process?" - Asok
"It can be, if you use enough slides." - Pointy Haired Boss

- Dilbert

Every day, I think to myself, "Self (or Awesome Self), I should really blog more often so I have a chronicle of these important days of my life to look back on when I've plunged into senility."  Then, I get distracted by something shiny, and the blogging gets pushed back another day.  I'm also realizing that it's very difficult to become a blogging sensation, known across the globe, if there is not actual blogging going on.  I'm not soooo full of myself as to believe that I, as an individual, will somehow magically become a sensation, known across the globe, simply for hanging out in my cubicle at work.  That would be ridiculous.  Totally friggin awesome, but ridiculous.  So, today, I blog.

First things First...

It's Thursday.  That means that the only thing there is worth discussing first is...American Idol.  About a month ago, I posted my letter to American Idol wherein I informed American Idol that I was unhappy in our relationship and was looking for things to change.  So far...meh.  I guess they have totally given up on the idea of mentors.  Will.I.Am showed up for a couple of episodes, but I think he just happened to be in the studio.  It didn't seem like it was planned at all.  It's just sort of annoying that it's the same dude week after week. Also, the contestants are really not getting any less boring.  Some of them try, at least, to not make me sleepy, but they really just have so little pizazz.  Perhaps Adam Lambert has ruined Idol for me.  Perhaps the absense of Simon just makes the gaping hole in my soul larger and larger each week.  I don't know.  

I will, however, give credit where credit is due and state for the record that last night's episode was FUNNY.  Most of the contestants sang off key, but they did try to kick it up a bit in the area of theatrics.  I just still don't understand what they are thinking when it comes to song choice.  Do they even listen to music?  They had their choice of songs from the last 11 years of music and those are the best they could come up with?  Meh.  Like that 16 year old girl who looks 40 (Country Singer Girl) has a pretty awesome voice but she keeps picking shit songs to sing.  And Country Singer Kid has that awesome deep voice and does country well, but it's the same EVERY WEEK.  I'm bored now.

The Great Smokey (Bearless) Mountains...

For spring break this year, we took the minions to Great Smokey Mountains National Park for a week of camping, hiking, (and even an attempt at fishing with Grandpa Rowe).  We did some good hiking.  I got to scramble up to the top of Chimney Top which was neat.  I also learned that I can go at least 4 days without a shower and pee in the woods.  Overall it was a lovely trip and I may even get around to posting some pictures on Facebook one of these days.  

Except, I did not see a single bear.  WTF?!?! I chose that place specifically for the bears!  Everyone and their mother was all "oh, yeah, we just saw a bear, you haven't?"  Not that I'm bitter.  Actually, we barely saw any signs of wildlife.  Considering the park is overrun with wild hogs, I thought I'd at least get to see one of those.  But, nooooo, I got to see a few centipedes, a squirrel, like 5 birds, and 3 snails chilling out on a pile of pooh.  Arg.

Camping did get me excited for the weather getting nice enough to get back to one of my very favorite activities...Hiking.

Hiking in Indiana...Why Not?

 Don't try to look inside the book.

That was just part of the picture when I snagged it from Amazon's website.

I plan on hiking all of the 71 (I'm currently on Number 1) trails listed in the book above in the next couple of years.  Why?  Honestly, there's not much else to do here.  I'm still trying to figure out where that waterfall on the cover is from so i can go there soon. Unless it's not a waterfall but really just some water flowing off a foot of rocks photographed using the same fancy tricks that make Hagrid appear 10 feet tall. That would really piss me off.

This weekend: #32 Turkey Run State Park

The Trek of Indiana Begins!!! 

Jenn - I should probably get some work done.