Quote of the Day: "Doing it right is no excuse for not meeting the schedule." - Real Life Dilbert Quotes
So, as you may or may not know, Boyfriend has 3 minions (children). They are all boys and they are M (Age 10), E (Age almost 12), and G (Age 14). We have them every thursday and every other weekend, plus on various alternating holidays and such. In the year or so that I've know them, I have learned so much. I have learned:
1. They will always find something to bang on or bang with and the louder the banging noise they can make, the happier it makes them. I would learn how to levitate them in the air but I'm sure it would be a wasted effort because they would just bang on themselves.
2. The only time a child will start vomiting is in the middle of the night. And they will NEVER make it to the bathroom the first (and most vomit producing) time. They will manage to get out of bed, come downstairs, wake us up, tell us they are sick, cry a little, wait until someone gets out of bed, walk over to lay on the couch, and then just as the adult is walking over the fridge to get something to help settle the stomach, the child will jump up and make it to just outside the bathroom door before projectile vomiting all over the place. And the hall bathroom is right outside the master bedroom, so the adult that didn't get out of bed will be trapped in the bedroom until either Moses arrives to do some parting of the Vomit Sea or the other adult has time to clean up.
3. Someone is always bored. No matter what activity is going on, there will always be someone who says they are bored. It could be the most exciting thing that anyone in the history of man could ever imagine doing and someone will still manage to be bored.
4. 100% of the time kids will automatically, without a moment's hesitation, say NO to anything suggested to them and say they hate it, even if they have never experienced it before. 100% of the time that I say they will like something, I have to listen to them whine about it, force them to do it (or watch it in case of movies or tv), and they end up loving it.
5. Three kids means that 90% of the time, two kids will end up liking doing or eating whatever is suggested and one will hate it. 90% of the times that one kids hates it, it's only because they other two like it.
6. Just when I am about to lock myself in the closet because they are driving me crazy, they do something funny or cute.
I made up a whining song this weekend. And I sang it at whoever was whining at any given moment (including Boyfriend). Right, I'm 10. I have to do something to counteract the whine terrorists. The song is sung to the spider man theme:
Whineypants, Whineypants,
I see you have on your whineypants.
Do they fit or are they tight?
Doesn't matter cause it isn't right,
To be a whineypaaaaaaannntttssss,
You're being a whineypants.
I find that making up taunting songs to sing at the children relieves some of the stress. :)
Jenn - Don't get me wrong...I really do love the minions!
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